Spinning Plates

The art of spinning plates takes hand-eye coordination, stability and balance. Much like life. I’m not sure about you, but my plates seem to come crashing down, usually at the most inopportune times, like when a huge deadline needs to be met or the school is calling for a conference.

Being a working parent is more difficult now than ever before. Most no longer have the luxury of having one parent at home to care for the children and the affairs of the house, while the other works outside of the home. 58.5% of married couples both worked outside the home in 2011. This percentage could have been potentially higher had it not been for the high unemployment rate that was at a staggering 11.5% for couples living in the same home. And the number of single parent homes? The last Census calculated in 2008 states the rate of single parent households at 29.5%, or 10,536,000 that support children under the age of 18.

So, we spin plates. Managing both work and life is a delicate balancing act. Lean too much in one direction and those plates start wobbling, threatening to crash down around your tired, swollen feet. It takes practice, time management, sacrifice, compromise, and financial and emotional support. Even when all those things have been put into practice, there are times when I still feel unbalanced and on the verge of crashing. When that starts to happen, here are some tactics I take to minimize the fallout and get back on track:

Division of Labor

If you live with your significant other, sitting down and talking about who does what and when can help to reduce the hard feelings that occur when one feels like they are doing more than the other. Creating a realistic division of labor is absolutely essential to maintaining a healthy relationship, especially when both work outside of the home. In my home, my husband does his own laundry and he cooks dinner about 3 times a week. I do most of the house cleaning, but he tinkers with the things that need to be fixed or better organized, as well as clean the places I can’t reach. Of course there are weeks when one of us is doing more than the other, but at least there is sense of balance that we can go back to. Oh, and we don’t argue about household chores as much as we used to, which is awesome.

Manage Your Time

I literally start with blank Excel spreadsheet and create a week broken out into 30 minute intervals for each day. I list EVERYTHING, including when I wake up, daily deadlines, transportation time, kid’s activities, meals, even time to relax and catch up on my favorite shows. Realistically you aren't going to follow it to a T, but breaking out your time in this way can give you a good indication of where most of your time is being spent and where you can cut back to allow for others that need a higher priority or more of your time in order to accomplish what you need to do each week. See example below.

Set a Goal and Work Toward It

 A great resource to help pinpoint what goals are realistic and attainable is the line of Franklin Covey products. In the starter pack included in their planners, they ask a series of questions that drill down into a mission statement supported by goals and actions that you can take to make the most of your time and attain the things you want to get out of life, whether it’s a better relationship with your spouse or a promotion at work. Once you've pinpointed what you want to work toward, schedule time each week to take a small step in attaining it. Before you know it, you've accomplished your goal! This method of goal planning by Franklin Covey gave me the clarity and organization I needed to graduate from college while also working and taking care of a 16 year old and 3 month old within 3 years. I highly recommend it.

Just Say “No”

Between work, charity events, soccer games, church, professional networking and taking care of your home and those who live in it, if you said “yes” to everything that you were ever invited to, you would (1) never be home, ever, (2) need to be at two to three places at the same time multiple times a week, and (3) burn out. Only attend those events that will help you meet your goals, doesn't compromise any of the time allotted on your schedule, and/or is something that you consider personally important. For me, I've scaled back on some professional networking events, I never schedule anything on Sundays unless it’s a family member’s birthday. My husband and I feel that team sports are important in helping kids’ work as a part of a team and to use all that energy they aren't able to expend while in school, so we encourage them to join at least one sport a year. These priorities work for both my family and my own needs, so I don’t feel guilty anymore for having to politely decline other invitations.

Ask For Help

Recently, during a move, I became so overwhelmed with everything that had to be done I was in tears whenever I pulled out my to-do list. I was only able to take one day off of work to get try and get everything done over a long weekend. My grandmother offered to help with the mountain of laundry that had accumulated and to clean out the old house. She did not have to ask twice. In a perfect world, I would have been able to get everything done myself. But, as I have sadly realized, nothing is ever perfect—even that one lady that is always dressed like she’s about to walk down the runway and whose house is always immaculate. I guarantee that she had some help getting herself and her home to perfection.

Hire Someone

If your yard constantly looks overgrown, hire the kid down the street to come mow it. Hire a cleaning service to scrub your toilets when you feel like you are going to upchuck dinner every time you step into the bathroom because you haven’t had time scrub it yourself in 3 weeks. You don’t have shell out your whole paycheck, most individuals are willing to negotiate a bit or you can limit how often they come. If the little bit of time it saves gives you the freedom to spend more quality time with your family, then it is completely worth the cost.

Managing all the facets of our busy lives and finding balance is difficult but it is realistic. You will burn out, slip up and forget important tasks, and have to repackage store bought cookies into a tin to bring to the class birthday party. It’s ok, it happens to the best of us. This year has been one of the more challenging years in managing my time and stress level, equivalent only to my senior year of college when I was working part-time, taking 15 credit hours a semester, working an internship, juggling odd jobs for extra cash and taking care of growing family. It took a thorough reevaluation, scaling back and priority and goal checking to get me back on a less stressful path, then and now. I wouldn't have it any other way though—I love my family, my career, my free time and I WILL do it all. If I can become a master plate spinner, so can you. Just ignore those broken pieces on the floor and try again.

© 2012 Kara O'Ferrell
May not be reproduced without prior permission.